Ho male :(

Hello

'Ho male' means 'I have illness'. This, I regret to tell you, is the case. My head feels like it's been sat on by a fat person, I have an unpleasant cough and I feel all light headed. Normally the latter takes a bit of cash to achieve, so I don't mind that, but I could live without the other two. I felt it coming on yesterday, so I thought I'd be clever last night and sleep with my window open. For some reason, the road beside my flat was uncommonly busy last night, and then when I woke up today, there was a large mosquito satedly-dozing on the wall. Apparently it had quite a big meal. I now have to clean my wall.

Anyways, enough of my grumbling. The weather here's been pretty good, generally. It was a bit overcast yesterday, but it's nice and sweat-inducingly hot and sunny today, which is nice, in a fashion.

I thought, in the spirit of sharing insights into Italian life, I'd regale you with the latest strange thing I've seen.

Katarina has a TV, so I've seen a bit of what Italian's loosely term as 'entertainment'. Although watching Columbo and Walker, Texas Ranger in Italian is highly amusing, there are three shows that caught my eye:

1) Guinness World Records. This involves regular people showing their amazing talents. One guy broke the record (but sadly no bones) jumping off a platform holding a bungee rope, then letting go when he hit the ground. I'm not sure why, and I'd imagine all you'd need is good medical insurance and a mathemitician to tell you how much rope you need. Usain Bolt, eat your heart out, that guy clearly is at the peak of his field. Roy Castle must be turning in his grave, but I'm sure he'd recognise the next 'record breakers' 'unique' 'talent'. It was a small Hispanic boy, who had a very hairy face. Serisouly, he looked like teen wolf. He was interviewed by a host, and although it was clearly a case of "everybody, look at the freak", she kept a straight face. I felt quite sorry for the guy. I didn't understand the interview, but I really hope he was asked: "So, when did you discover your talent for having a hairy face?" That would have been priceless.

2) Cantare Ballado (I think that's what it was called). It's a big studio, with a band and singer lip-synching along to some easy-listening schmultz, while old people shuffle about dancing. It's on everytime I watch TV, so it must be quite a ratings winner. I just hope that the creators of Big Brother in the UK realise this, so you guys can be treated to the same quality viewing.

3) My favourite, a football programme, where you don't get to see any football, but just a group of old men shouting each other. Again, I have no idea what they're saying, but it does make me smile. One guy in particluar explodes into a rage at almost anything, and he shouts and his face goes really red. In between them is a woman who clearly struggles to keep control, and regularly fails.

If any of you fancy a holiday, and seeing your old friend Michael, then I'm sure you to could be privileged enough to see these TV gems.

Any ways, I have to go and buy a ticket for the Genoa match on Sunday, when they play the mighty Siena. Massimo Maccarone (quitessentially Italian name there) plays for Siena, and formerly Middlesbrough, fact fans.

Ciao the now