As I approach the final curtain....

Hello from Italy everybody, for perhaps the last time. I'm still undecided about what my next move should be.

I hope you've been well. I'm either deeply ill, or my suntan is starting to take hold. I'm back tomorrow, so prepare to bask in my golden glow/give sympathy for my tropical disease.

Not alot to say today, as most of my really big revelations about Italy are for me, and not for you.

I did go to a wild boar festival on Friday night, which was quintessentially Italian. Except that it was well organised. But apart from that, very Italian. I had wild boar tagliatelle, followed by wild boar steaks. Followed by beer and wine. Was good, and nice and cheap. They had a band who just went crazy through their selection of 'oom-pah' songs. If the crowd still had working knees, I'm sure they would have stood up and clapped. It was in a wee town out in the hills called Ovada, and these wee towns regularly have random festivals to celebrate the local produce. In a couple of weeks time there's a garlic festival, and a few weeks ago Stevie went to an anchovy festival. They're nice because you get out of the city, so people are only 3/4 as rude as they normally are. It's a refreshing change, I have to say!

A couple of you have asked me about the girls of Italy. I'm only really able to say the look nice, as I've not really spoken to any at length in a social sense. Some have said that although you can't speak the native language it should be no barrier, as there's always the international language of love. This is a fine concept, but falls down in practice when you sit in silence repeating the few stock phrases you have. Also, my urbane humour and lightning-fast wit are lost in translation, even more so than in Scotland. But they are lovely looking.

Well, I think that's all folks.

So, break out the fine cutlery, chill the Guinness and wrap a yellow ribbon round the old oak tree, cos I'll be home tomorrow!

Ciao the now.